Start Date + A trip to the boys toilet

Apart from my first weekend of moving to The Oval I have spent each weekend either away or had someone visiting me here. This has been fantastic but draining as it has prevented me from truly settling, finding a weekend routine or a church. So this past weekend I deliberately made no plans.


For the first time since moving here I was able to simply relax and let being here wash over me.


What I didn't expect was that this would be a challenging and for a time, a negative experience. 


I'd found myself questioning a lot recently -namely God's plan for individuals. 
Yes God loves the world and yes salvation is for the world and with me being in the world, I am included in that. 
Fantastic. 
What is also fantastic is that this is predetermined, God predestined us to be conformed to his will and that, being all powerful and all knowing, he is in control of this entire process, no credit to us.
But this was also the problem. 
If God doesn't need our help then why am I doing what I'm doing? 
I don't consider myself as an individual important in this plan, and in a way I know that that's because I'm not. God is big enough to work without the help of Catherine Evans and thank goodness for that!
But with the honeymoon period over and feeling fairly out of my depth, this is not always a comfort. Maybe I would be more effective somewhere else? 
Maybe this isn't the job for me and I heard God wrong?
Maybe it doesn't even matter where I am?


And so the mental conversation went.  


Until this morning. 


I was in the office and felt the call of nature. Upon finding the ladies toilet was occupied, and lacking the time to hang around, I decided to use the gents. Men being men, there was a book on the window ledge and I thought I'd check out the message for the day. Below is the page on to which it fell. 

My Utmost for his Highest - October 25th -  Oswald Chambers

 'Never protest by saying "If only I were somewhere else!" All of God's people are ordinary people who have been made extraordinary by the purpose He has given them... We are not workers for God by choice. John 15:16 "I chose you..." Keep these words as a wonderful reminder in your theology... Never choose to be a worker, but once God has placed His call upon you, woe be to you if you "turn aside... to the right or the left..." Deuteronomy 28:14. He will do with you what He never did before His call came to you, and He will do with you what He is not doing with other people. Let Him have His way.'

God's pretty awesome really.